Just Sat

Recently I had a long gap between errands.

I was waiting more than an hour at a city park.

I went around the walking trail circle.

Then I just sat.

It only took a little while for my body to recover.

Then I noticed my internal mental chatter.

I had done all the important planning and praying.

I had worked out my ordinary life challenges in my mind during my walk.

There was nothing more I could work on mentally.

I was free to just BE.

Now that is easy to say.

But it is challenging to do.

It was tempting to get absorbed in observing the birds all around.

But I knew I was avoiding a deeper issue by going in that direction.

I have been practicing basic meditation of observing the breath for years.

I could DO that but again that is a work.

For what seemed like a long time but was likely very brief I just sat.

The reading I have encountered lately advocated just letting myself be.

That looks so simple in print.

But for me it is about as challenging as standing on my head.

Many years ago I took a yoga class where I did eventually learn to stand on my head.

Maybe and just maybe I can get better at just sitting.

There is related readings I have encountered lately.

It advocated learning to love myself.

I am really clueless about that one.

But I suspect as I learn to just sit that might become more possible.